Return Labels

Let me start by saying I love the convenience of return labels. I love being able to put something in an envelope, quickly scribble the sender's address, slap on a self-adhesive stamp as well as a return label that already carries my name and home address. Good times.

Return labels usually come in through the mail unrequested from charities, professional organizations, universities, you name it. Most of the time, I have a good selection of return labels sitting around waiting to be used at my convenience, to the point where when new ones come in I can throw them away if I do not like the logo that comes with the label.

The issue now stems in that we only moved to Nashville last July, so my stash or return labels is rather thin. Since we moved out here my stash was mainly supported by a decent looking one from Progressive Insurance (which is not my insurance company) as well as some ok ones from, are you ready for this, the Greek Orthodox Church-that's right, the labels are sans JC but have a cross-which is extra funny because I am about as atheist as they come. My last set are these ones from St. Jude's Children's Hospital that have Ziggy...fucking Ziggy on them. Two things about Ziggy, if you put them on your return labels it basically guarantees that nobody in their right mind is going use them and if you are a charitable organization, it guarantees that you will not get any money in return. I mean, the only way these could be worse is if they had Hello Kitty on them (important note: if you click on the Hello Kitty sign be prepared to be attacked by an incredibly friendly cartoon).

I ran out of the Progressive labels back in November and have been using the shitty Ziggy ones for bills (I figured they don't care) or the Greek Orthodox Church ones. However, when I have sent stuff to friends and family I have been stealing Nat's labels from the ASPCA. Those labels are pretty cool. To the left of your name and address they have either the ASPCA logo or a picture of an animal. Pretty good stuff.

After having had enough of being in return label purgatory, and seeing that Nat's stash of return labels of quality keeps increasing, I did a shameful but utilitarian thing, I went on the ASPCA site and signed up to be on their mailing list hoping that they will find it in their hearts to send me some return labels. Besides, if the labels are cool enough, I may even promote their cause.